Fading Away
by moonfaerie326
Summary: Takes place after Aliyah. Ziva's mind is shutting down, she can only recall small memories of what was but she knows for sure what is to come. She hopes it will end quickly. ONESHOT


**Before I start I just want to apologize for my lack of updates. I've just been in a slump lately and I cannot seem to get anything worth reading down on paper. I don't know what's wrong with me but hopefully this is the start of my writing once more. **

**This is a one-shot based on the aftermath of Aliyah. It is told in Ziva's point of view and I purposefully mentioned no names. It was how I wanted it to play out because I don't think Ziva would allow herself to think names; plus in this she is lost even to herself, but you'll have to read on to see exactly what I mean. **

**[[Warning: This fic contains slight spoilers to Season 6: Just want everyone to know before they continue on.]]**

**ENJOY :DD**

**FADING AWAY**

**ONESHOT:**

Her vision is blurring, a swimming sea of purple haze that fills her mind. Noises seem muted, a soft sound of incoherent mumbles and creaks. Her skin is swollen and bruised; and her limbs are battered and broken. She's not the same as she once was and she can feel it in the numbness that sweeps across her body.

Pain is all she can feel; all that she can remember. Death and longing cloud her mind but it's in such clattered depths that she cannot make true sense of any of it.

Something is missing, she can feel it though she can not accurately pinpoint its origin – she wonders if it is even real, this feeling rooted deep inside. It's like she held something in her hand only to have it brutally ripped from her grasp before she even knew its meaning. She ignores it, instead she focuses on the dull throbbing in her eye, spreading out from that point until it traced down her neck. She counts the seconds as it pulses and before long her mind has gone blank as the numbness takes over once more.

--

When she comes to she remembers another life filled with close friends and joyful laughter. She remembers love and happiness and her heart aches as her mind recalls such tender moments.

She remembers being happy as she drove to work instead of being filled with a sense of duty and loathing for all things. She remembers wanting to be with people instead of holed up on her own.

Her head pounds as she remembers green eyes and a velvety voice. The feelings of longing and loss return with renewed strength as she recalls those hauntingly green eyes. She is about to grasp the meaning of it all; she is sure as her heart thumps that unfamiliar tune of excitement – it is in that moment that she is struck.

The blow caused a sickening crack as the object made contact with her skull. Her head falls against her shoulders limply and her left eye begins to ooze. She can feel liquid making its way out of her eye and onto the throbbing skin of her cheek. It seems to scald her.

"SPEAK!!" A voice shouts shrilly in her ear but all she can hear is a dull roar as a hand closes over her throat. She feels the fingers tighten but she still manages to suck tiny breaths slowly through her knows. She is trained to stay calm in these situation's to let the restricted breathing come easy and not forced. She recalls her training as she blacks out once more.

--

She doesn't cry out when she awakes to the sound of her finger snapping. New pain spreads throughout her form and she has a familiar tingling all around her battered body. She's not sure which pain is the strongest so she tries to block out it all. She bites her lip against the stream of pain that is filtering through her nerves but she still remains mute.

"Tell me what you know, you bitch!!" She briefly wonders why he is whispering as he grabs hold of her broken fingers and squeezes it painfully in his grasp.

She stares at him; taking in his dirty visage through her one good eye. His lips are chapped and his beard is just beginning to grow. There is murder in his eyes and she knows that he will not hesitate to kill her in a second. She just hopes it will come quickly, she is tired of everything.

Her throat closes when she swallows, scratchy from the stale air and dry from the lack of water. She doesn't dwell on it for too long because the feel of a knife piercing through the flesh of her thigh brings her back to herself. A choked sob slips past her lips as the knife is twisted and pulled within the wound. She hears a sinister chuckle somewhere to her left and she holds back the whimper that is on her tongue.

"I will break you." Promises the voice and she allows her muscles to slacken when the sound of the lock engaging fills the room.

In her downtrodden state she allows herself to recall warm embraces with the sincerest intent before she banishes the thought from her mind. She won't allow herself to live that dream any longer when it is no longer hers to hold. Her days are numbered and all though her will is strong she knows it is only a matter of time before it fails her.

She locks away her good memories – only holding onto the bad – she allows her feelings of longing to trickle from her body and before she knows it she is just a body; breathing and moving but nothing more. She holds on to nothing – her hope is gone, and she knows this was her destiny. She can allow herself a small moment of happiness that she got to be around such wonderful people for so long before that too dies away.

The next time they come in they are relentless in their beatings. They take turns striking her down; marring her olive skin with more bruises and cuts than she could ever hope to count. They don't ask questions; they just deliver the blows and walk away.

This time when the lock clicks into place, she wonders how long it will be until she completely fades away.

**So this is not exactly how I wanted it to turn out; but I think it turned out alright. What do you think? Reviews would be wonderful. **

**And now I am off to work. Oh the joy.**


End file.
